This article was written and Published by Lauraine Langreo, — January 13, 2025
Layla Touchet was teaching 1st grade students a lesson on “the grumpies.” As part of the lesson, students were asked to write or draw two things that help them let go of grumpy feelings. But one of Touchet’s students was defiant. She was not going to do what Touchet asked her to do—she protested that she just wanted to color. It was not the first time.
“Whenever it’s something she doesn’t really care about, she’s like, ‘I’m not doing this, and you can’t make me move,’” said Touchet, a counselor for Prairie Elementary School in Lafayette, La. “She’s not wrong. I can’t make her move, but I’m just like, ‘You’re not going to like the consequences, though.’”
The 1st grader eventually did what she was supposed to do, but it took a huge amount of time and effort on Touchet’s part to get the girl to that point.
What is particularly troubling to Touchet is that this lack of self-regulation is now not only a problem for the youngest elementary students. She’s been noticing that older elementary students in grades 3-5 are also struggling with self-regulation—the ability to understand and manage behaviors and reactions to their feelings or events happening around them.
The most common reason classroom teachers now refer students to her is because they lashed out at teachers or fellow students, said something very mean, or showed some form of potentially harmful physical aggression, Touchet said.
It is a trend that other elementary school counselors and teachers around the country are noticing, too. More than 8 in 10 public schools say they’re seeing stunted behavioral and socioemotional development in their students, according to May 2024 data from the National Center for Education Statistics’ School Pulse Panel, which surveys a nationally representative group of more than 1,500 schools from every state and the District of Columbia. They also say student misbehaviors are having a negative impact on learning, as well as teacher and staff morale.
Earlier in her career, Touchet said those types of discipline referrals were few and far between. Back then, students were mostly referred for challenges around executive function skills, such as following directions and impulse control, she said.
“Their coping skills are not there like they used to be,” she said.
In your opinion, what kind of impact does the social-emotional learning conducted in your classroom, district, or school have on students’ so-called “soft skills”—such as the ability to collaborate, communicate, be creative, and think critically?
Why so many kids have trouble managing their emotions
Being able to manage emotions, behavior, and attention are skills that humans acquire and develop over time, and the early elementary period is the prime time for learning and practicing these skills, said Stephanie Jones, a professor in early childhood development at Harvard University and the director of the Ecological Approaches to Social Emotional Learning, or EASEL, Laboratory.
“What you’re hearing from the educators [about students’ lack of self-regulation skills] are the kinds of things that we would expect to see coming up in elementary school-aged kids,” Jones said.
But that’s not all that’s going on, Jones said.
Several studies have shown that the COVID-19 pandemic has had a lasting effect on the ability of children of all ages to regulate their emotions, with reports of increased emotional dysregulation and behavioral problems.
Children who are now in the early years of school were toddlers during the pandemic, and older elementary students were just beginning school when the pandemic hit. School building closures in the spring and fall of 2020 meant that children missed out on important face-to-face experiences about conflict resolution, impulse control, and emotional regulation, according to experts. For those younger kids who weren’t in school yet when the pandemic closed school buildings, Jones said they could’ve also missed out on early socialization opportunities at the playground or the library, for example.
“There are these effects of the pandemic that teachers are still seeing in their classrooms,” Jones said. “Children who might have otherwise acquired a host of regulatory skills by the time they’re in 3rd grade may still be struggling with them because of the pandemic.”
The increase in young people’s mental health challenges could be a contributing factor, too, said Ally Skoog-Hoffman, the senior director of research and learning for the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning, or CASEL. Research shows that mental health challenges “can impede self-regulation by overwhelming students’ emotional responses or making it harder for them to stay focused and organized,” she said.
Some experts say another possible reason for stunted social and behavioral development could be increased screen time. Research has shown that screen time shortens attention spans and leads to difficulty focusing.
How poor behavior affects classroom dynamics in elementary school
These emotional self-regulation challenges “often manifest as academic struggles, such as procrastination or poor time management,” said Skoog-Hoffman. “Having spent a significant period out of school, students may have become less motivated and more resistant to following through with academic tasks that require sustained attention.”
Educators are seeing those aftereffects in their students.
Some students try to avoid class assignments because “organization and time management gets in the way for them,” Touchet said. Others don’t understand how to begin an assignment; or, if they’re given a certain amount of time to finish one, they’ll say they’re confused about how much time they actually have, she said.
Sometimes, a student will get upset and shut down or cry, said Lavonna Woods, a 5th grade teacher at Ingels Elementary School in Kansas City, Mo. This makes it hard for the student to focus and receive direction or make choices about next steps.
The behavioral problems can cause significant disruptions in the classroom, pull teacher time away from other students who need academic help, and lead to higher levels of teacher burnout.
How schools can teach students emotional self-regulation skills
There are some practical strategies that schools can put in place to teach elementary students how to manage their emotions and behavior, according to experts.
Use of visual supports and tools: Using visual aids, such as emotion charts and self-regulation checklists, can help students better understand their feelings and the steps they can take to regulate them. Touchet uses a lot of visual aids in her class, including sand timers (so students can visualize how much time is left) and visual prompt cards of coping strategies, such as taking deep breaths or sitting quietly.
Educator modeling: School staff can model self-regulation techniques, such as taking deep breaths and reflecting on mistakes. For instance, when Touchet asks her students to take deep breaths, she does the motions with them, too.
Explicit SEL instruction: Schools can provide explicit social-emotional instruction to explain concepts like impulse control, emotional regulation, and goal-setting. These lessons should also help students practice the skills they’re learning about, through structured activities, stories, role-playing, or group discussions.
However, critics have pushed back against explicit SEL instruction, claiming it’s a form of liberal indoctrination or that schools should focus more on academics. Plus, some teachers say they barely have time for academics, much less teaching SEL.
Peer modeling and group work: Students can also learn self-regulation strategies by interacting with and observing their peers. At Powderhorn Elementary School, which serves K-5 in Littleton, Colo., students have buddy days, when older students are matched with younger students to do activities together, said principal Tom Szczesny. Sometimes, there are also lunch groups in which students can interact with peers they don’t usually interact with so they can practice the SEL skills they’re learning.
Having a schoolwide culture that models and reinforces self-regulation skills for students will have a positive impact not just on the kids but also the staff, Szczesny said.
Being proactive, by cultivating these skills in kids, is “the necessary first step to helping students succeed,” he added.